How do you actually know if you are ready for children? This is the question that everybody has asked at least once in their lives. Among the variety of answers and opinions that I have heard during my life, I can say that the answer differs dramatically between two different populations: those who have children and those who don’t. Now, if you are browsing the Internet in pursuit of that one answer that will make the decision-making easier, this post will hopefully provide you with entertainment and possibly with some material for thinking.
Below are some signs that you are ready for children:
- You feel that you are ready to provide to a new human being an absolute magical childhood. You are not sure what it is, but you have a collage of pictures of happy children doing all kinds of fun activities in super clean clothes with super smiling parents in your head – that surely must be it.
- You think that all those people constantly asking you when you are going to have children and putting that pressure on you are right, and they are doing you a favor by putting this strangely personal pressure on you
- You are of a certain age and it is expected of you to want and have children. You desperately need to fit in that little social construct cubicle.
- You don’t like sleeping through the night and you feel a yearning to be woken up every hour.
- You don’t like silence and a quiet home is the biggest abomination.
- You think that having time for yourself is unnecessary, your sole purpose is to be an exhausted mess.
- Your Instagram account could do with more likes and babies are perfect for that.
Now, you know that I am joking. The truth is:
You are never “ready” in the way the you can be ready to go out at night or ready to start a sewing project. You don’t know what you child will be like and, you don’t know what kind of parent you will be. Nobody is born a parent – you become a parent by practicing it, and you can’t practice before you actually have children.
Of course, there are certain things that help: having enough maturity, being ready for the big change that a child brings, money, time, living space etc. But none of these are actually real drawbacks: happy children are raised by very young people, in poverty and with modest means, so none of these will actually be a reliable indicator. In fact, I recently wrote about the topic of what your child doesn’t need.
To conclude: no website will ever be able to tell every single one of us if we are ready for children. But yes, if you are asking yourself this question, it is probably because deep down inside you think that you may be ready.